Chapter 12

img_2443033 was awake in his room in the new hideout. He felt his own body. He tried to resist the temptation to pleasure himself. Now that he was getting stronger and that the rebels had removed his underwear. Underwear being guard term for the buttplug and penis sheath combination. He was always tempted to rub himself, to pleasure himself and to think of other male bodies. Especially of muscular male bodies, without any hair. That was really the guard programming deep down. And when he looked at himself he felt ugly. There was hair all over his body and even hair in his face. He had a beard. The rebels were evil not to give him a shaver so he could keep himself clean.

He sat down in the taylor seat and started with a mantra:—the Guard is my mother—I love my rubber uniform — I support my brothers—obey my orders — I train to improve — I better my self — I keep silence — discipline is important — the structure helps me — I support my brothers — duty is freedom — poverty of things is richness is mind—the Guard is my mother—I love my rubber uniform — I support my brothers—obey my orders — I train to improve — I better my self — I keep silence — discipline is important — the structure helps me — I support my brothers — duty is freedom — poverty of things is richness is mind”

Whenever he came to the brothers section he had to stop shortly. It was difficult to think of his brothers, especially the ones close in the family unit and his husband. It was generally difficult to keep his mental discipline. The other day he had with out any reason though of himself with his civilian name Sam. Then he was shocked, he tried to banish all such thoughts but it seemed difficult nearly impossible. His old identity was gone. As a courtesy he visited his family every six months for a couple of days but that was it. Civilian life was strange for him.

“the Guard is my mother—I love my rubber uniform — I support my brothers—obey my orders — I train to improve — I better my self — I keep silence — discipline is important — the structure helps me — I support my brothers — duty is freedom — poverty of things is richness is mind”

There was knocking on the door. The nurse came in and brought him food. He stopped with his mantras.

“How are you today? Doing these mantras again?

“I’m fine. Well I’m kept in cave like a prisoner but besides that I’m fine.”

“You should stop repeating these mantras and start to think. I brought you this book.”

“Can I have something to shave and clip my hair? I look like a monkey?”

“I think your look has improved, you are so much more a human not a rubber toy.”

She gently stroked over his face and skull. 033 was unsure how to react to such behavior.

“Read”

Then she left his room. 033 ate. After he had finished his meal, he thought. Right in the guard he had not experienced such an assault of his sense of taste. There food pulp was mostly pumped directly to the stomach, but here he had to eat. Cut his food, use his teeth and afterwards clean them. That felt so cumbersome. But also there were this many tastes. He had not been used to this and just wanted to eat bland food. But he had noticed that he started to enjoy this. Was this a deviance from the proper way of life.

Maybe he should stop pondering and start reading.

He looked at the book cover: “Euklidis Venutstasis: The feminist Empire and his victims” 033 had never heard of this book or the author. Maybe something from the masculinist fringe? He was not sure. In the guard if you wore the tank suit, usually a „dangerous meme“ warning would flash up. Then in the lower ranks the visor would block the cover and type of the book so that there was no need to read it. If you were not in suit then you could ask GUMS and it would tell you about the book and you could put it away and take it for destruction. There were rumors that some guardsman read these books before they destroyed them but why? He had never bothered. And if and you got caught there would be punishment.

But now should he peer into? Maybe he could gain some valuable insight about the motives of his captors.

“Europe is no Democracy and no more a Republic. Similar to Rome it has decayed and become an Empire. Morals and ethics have failed and the citizen are tired of politics. There is internal violence or at least we are made to believe there is spectacular violence. So our citizens have become tired of politics and they value security more highly then freedom. But have they got any of those two?

This culturally empty Europe, those identity has been robbed has been given up by his citizen. The state has developed to be a an authoritarian nanny super state and an empire where legitimation is been done by occasional plebiscites.. But there are also uncontrollable stability mechanisms, humanitarian interventions and the threat of punishment for anyone who shows divergent behavior.

These citizens who are tired of voting and politics want to have equality and security, they do not want to have Freedom and have arranged with the new empire. The Empire secures the basic economics needs of all citizens through state intervention. This value order is oriented on duty and sacrifice for the state. Wealth is only socially permissible if it is valuable for the common wealth. Many citizens flee in mass media consumption and a distraction and leisure society. This is the fault of the mixture of rationalist, universalist, feminist, populist and slightly fascist worldview that destroys all the bonds internally. But tries to to impose its concepts on the whole world. This is similar to the end of the Roman republic. Similar to the final Roman republic the need for security has increased drastically. Early think tank papers called for the introduction of a universal conscription. But how do you ensure a loyal force, that is highly trained and at the same time cheap. Similar as in old Greece there would be a need for a slave like security force. “Security slaves”. Soon this was changed to the expression Guardsman. These were introduced and then displaced the traditional citizens police. Because they took on more and more duties and were cheap and ultra loyal.”

Sam put the book down and was shocked. Never had he read so much masculinist propaganda on one place. It was clear to him why usually only the psy-ops people dealt with this. And had he just referred to him with his civilian name?

There was a knocking on the door and the locks were opened and his nurse entered.

She had a tray in her hand.

“More food?”

“I brought you something sweet.”

The cake smelled really nice and yummy. Sam, no he was 033, tried to remember when he had last eaten cake. It was when he had visited his mother. Even though it was discouraged to eat civilian food. He looked at the cake. No he shouldn’t eat from it, already he felt he was getting fat. This is what the rebels wanted to do to him. Make him fat and then become a decadent and lazy civilian.

“Well if you don’t want to eat some of it now, I can leave it here for later. There is no need to suffer.” She laughed. All the time in the hiding his nurse was always so nice and sweet to him. He was not used to such a treatment from a women. The women who worked for the security directorate were dominant and strong and took what they thought was theirs. While the other civilian women were always treated with a distant politeness, just as protocol demanded.

In the last days they had made the place he was hidden so much more like a civilian home: there was a rug, posters on the wall, a really nice and comfy bed.

“Are you sure you don’t want any of the cake?”

033 not Sam! He thought to himself, was really distracted it smelled so nice.

Well if she stayed with him and he could talk to her that would maybe be an opportunity to find out more stuff.

* * *

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605 walked across the parade ground. The space had been halved and now there were Guard pioneers putting up a new structure. It seemed to be a housing compound for additional guard units.They were using prefabricated concrete structures. In their power and armored suits they looked like ants, even more then the usual armor Guardies wore.

He stood for a minute and then walked on. He entered his own housing tower. He decided to take the upwards ladder and climbed up to his corridor. Then he walked along, coming by the cleaning booths, some utility room and there was his family unit room. The door opened.

Another family unit was just getting ready for their shift. As the Guard station had been packed with all the reservists and additional units from other places the sleeping space had become sparse. Although some Guardies slept in their tank suits these had to rotate out of them every couple of days to clean and lube them. And then those Guardies had a right to sleep in normal beds as well. So they were sharing family unit rooms. That was no problem as the daily 15 hour duty shifts were arranged in a way as not to interfere with the 8 hours of sleep. Every Guardsman followed the same schedule: 15 hours of service devoted to the Guard, if if was training, learning, exercising or doing some other work related stuff, one hour of free and personal time, eight hours of sleep. Every 10th day there was a rest day.

The other family unit dutifully removed their rubber bedlinen, put that into a box on top of the lockers and then stacked them selves up in lock step and marched out to the sanitary saddles and cleaning station.

“Those don’t talk a lot?”

“No” 032 who had returned to their family unit and was cleared for light duty replied. “It appears they are in intelligence or something and mostly keep to them selves.” The darkish skin of the unit suggested they came from one of Europe’s more southern regions. And the cool demeanor suggested that they were either on cool down or maybe part of some kind of special thing.

032 and 034 were sitting at the table and watching something on the monitor over the door.

“We were just watching how our family unit ranking is, but all the recent events have pretty much screwed with it”. Every Guardsman was ranked himself, in his family unit and in the larger group he was integrated such as the Guard station. This kept things competitive. And privileges such as days without chastity device, promotions, time off or personal items could be payed from the reward points. It was a way of keeping the Guardies in line and committed without spending any money.

605 looked at them as well.

“Hmm, should we clean up our family unit room?” Cleaning was an occupation that was programmed as pleasurable into them. Hygiene in General was highly valued in the Guard and every Guardy got clearly content from cleaning his surroundings and the body of brothers.

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605 view fell on the barret on the table.

“Is that 033s?”

“Yes, it reminds me of him”.

605 looked at it. Somehow it reminded him as well of his brother. He could feel loss.

“Let’s start with the cleaning. It will change our thoughts.”

While they were cleaning 034 started telling B-8560-897-223 about 033. Their training together, how they had been sent to Ukraine shortly after it was inducted into the union state. Whenever they had finished with something the anal plug would move or swell a little bit and stimulate them.

“You know we were sent over there just after the induction. There was still civilian police and a lot of was so chaotic. Some of the police there were even corrupt and fat.”

223 replied: “This one remembers. 223 was in police training. Then they shipped our entire batch from the police academy off to the guard induction centre. And we got conditioned. So much changed.” His voice stopped as if he was thinking on something.

“I know, some of you didn’t have the preferences and were even married.”

“223 was not. But had a girlfriend. Well we broke up. And then after the first year 223 was put into cold storage here.”

“I guess we had a more experience of Ukraine then. The pacification was hard. You know in the beginning we thought there is accession and your people liked it, but then the riots started. Eventually it cleared down and we were used for guarding the radioactive zone. 033 really made a career and became D. I was so proud. And then we got transferred here. I thought it would be good to be back in an urban environment.”

* * *

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033 or Sam and the nurse had talked and talked. For some reason the nurse had starting citing poems to him: “o long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee… Do you know any poems, thirty-three?” The nurse laughed.“Hmmm. Not really. I don’t remember any from school. But there is one about the Guard we learned:

“The guard will give us unity,
it will bind the divided Europe
together to be one.
The uniform will give us outer unity
A unity that is real and material.
GUMS gives us the unity of spirit,
In reality, the most ideal.
He gives us internal unity,
Unity in thought and in feelings.
We need our masters to rule
Our outward and inward dealings.”

„Have you ever thought about it?“

„Not so much. You know serving in the guard is not so much about thinking. But I often quoted it to me when I was in need.“

He really like being together with the nurse. He had the feeling he understood here better as any other women before.

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